Please enjoy these tongue-in-cheek predictions in the tradition of the best supermarket tabloids.
After 20 years of having served as an elected official, county supervisor Das Williams will go where all bureaucrats go for a lucrative semi-retirement gig, UCSB.
Due to his super-ego-fueled tendency to give a lecture at any given moment, demonstrating everything he knows about every single subject known to man, he will get a job as a lecturer at the Brenn School of Environmental Science. The problem is his lectures will never end. Thereby, all his students will eventually have to drop his class to finish their degrees.
The reason there were no more BLM riots, such as was the case after the Daniel Penny not guilty verdict in New York, is because all the people that used to make their living by showing up to riot have since been hired to teach critical race theory in our schools, or they have been hired to become diversity, equity, and inclusion managers by government and big corporations.
Speaking of DEI, the county of Santa Barbara’s new DEI manager (salary plus benefits will be about $200k) will require that all employees list their personal pronouns in all correspondence and reports. Here are some personal pronoun suggestions for county employees who may not know how to describe themselves accurately:
Me/Myself/I; I/waste/tax dollars; My/pension’s/unsustainable; I’m not happy/unless/the public’s not happy; This/beats working/for a living; I/work from home/ha ha ha.
If you think the County of Santa Barbara and the State Coastal Commission will have the last laugh on preventing the restart of the Sable (formerly Exxon) offshore rigs and onshore facility, think again.
I predict Trump will reauthorize offshore barging operations for oil production and, in the same breath, he will tell the Coastal Commission and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to go pound sand for trying to limit Elon Musk’s (Trump’s new BFF) SpaceX launch schedule at Vandenberg.
County Supervisor Bob Nelson is going to get a street named after him in a new development. Unfortunately, however, it is a dead-end street. Supervisor Nelson, with whom I mostly agree, has unfortunately gone apoplectic regarding a proposed development known as Richard’s Ranch.
How bad is his apoplexy? He had to receive a public admonition from supervisors Hartmann and Williams that developers must be treated fairly. And that is from two supervisors who have never met a developer that they liked.
Nelson’s dead-end has to do with the fact that no matter how much he wants the developer to go through the county’s long, expensive, uncertain, and tortured process to build some badly needed homes in the Orcutt area, the county has no state water to serve the project.
Hence, the City of Santa Maria (the county capital of state water) has graciously agreed to annex the land and, by law, to split future tax revenues with the county. So, what’s not to love?
If Nelson manages to successfully sabotage the multi-year effort to get this project approved in the city, and believe me he’s trying, the builder has reserved the nuclear option that Nelson can’t stop. This is known as “the builder’s remedy” based on a state law that gives the developer the absolute right to build an alternative development on the site that nobody, including Nelson, wants.
In other words, while Nelson is engaged in a game of checkers, the developer is playing three-dimensional chess.
